Doesn't Even Matter How Hard You Try
by procrastin8or951
Summary: Response to "Ellie," in regards to Nick. Nick/Warrick friendship. Review please! Oneshot.


"Why Warrick?"

Grissom looked up at Nick, surprised to find the younger man standing in the doorway to his office. Seeing his perplexed look, Nick elaborated.

"I don't understand, Gris. You won't let me work a case solo, but you let Warrick run the shift for a night?"

Grissom removed his glasses and held them in his left hand as he began to speak. "I thought he was ready to try it out."

"But why Warrick?" Nick dropped into the chair in front of Grissom's desk. "I mean…" he trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to say.

"Warrick shows that he can use common sense to solve cases efficiently," Grissom said, waving his glasses a bit. "I haven't seen that as much from you."

"What, by getting Holly Gribbs killed? Gambling while on shift?" Nick snapped. "He can't do any wrong, can he?" Grissom, momentarily stunned, just stared at Nick, who continued, seemingly oblivious. "You let him work solo though. You give him a chance. Why don't I get a chance to show you that I can do this?" Nick sat back in his chair, apparently finished with his outburst.

Grissom merely watched his CSI for a moment, prompting Nick to start speaking again. "It's not that I'm not happy for Warrick. I mean, I'm happy he got this chance. I just want to know why I can't have the same chance."

Grissom finally thought of something to say. "I just don't think you're ready yet, Nick."

Nick nodded, looking away. "Okay. Okay." He stood up. "Thanks, Gris. I'll see you." He turned and walked out.

Grissom considered what Nick had said for a long moment. There was no specific evidence that Nick wasn't ready to work alone. But somehow, he just knew it. He was the first to admit he wasn't a "people person." Despite this, he did know a thing or two about being a CSI, and he knew Nick wasn't ready.

* * *

"Hey, man, good job tonight," Nick congratulated, clapping his friend on the shoulder. Warrick grinned at him, and nodded.

"Thanks," he said easily, turning back to his locker.

Nick spun the combination on his locker quickly, snagging his jacket and slamming the door shut again. "I'm heading out."

"Wanna grab some breakfast or somethin'?" Warrick asked, still smiling.

"Nah, man. I just wanna head home and crash. Sorry," he apologized, already walking away.

"Sure, bro," Warrick said, slightly confused. Nick disregarded that as he left the lab quickly.

He hadn't been lying to Grissom. He was happy for Warrick, he thought as he climbed into his car. He sat in his car and just thought.

_I am ready!_ Nick thought. _I can do this. Can't I?_

He became as CSI level three before Warrick. Thinking of this, he felt a pang of guilt over bringing up Holly Gribbs. That wasn't really fair, he knew. Everyone made mistakes.

But when he made mistakes, bad things happened. He made a mistake staying in the Hendler house to look for evidence, and look where that got him. Or the talk he had with Grissom on evaluation day. _Silk, silk, silk_, he thought bitterly.

For that matter, this conversation he had just had with Grissom. He had known it would be a mistake when he walked in. He had known it when he mentioned Holly Gribbs. Seeing Grissom's look of disappointment had made the idea reality. He winced at the memory of fleeing Grissom's office.

Why was he still trying to prove himself to Grissom? That was, after all, the reason for his frustration at Grissom's decision. He desperately wanted the chance to prove himself. But why?

Nick was good at his job. He knew it. He was sure of it. Mostly.

Something about Grissom still made him doubt himself. Something about that cold observation Grissom so often practiced made Nick squirm. Watching him judge other people made Nick wonder what Grissom saw in him.

_Tap tap tap!_

Nick jumped, and rolled the car window down to see Warrick.

"What are you still doing here?" Warrick asked.

Nick fumbled for an excuse, and not finding one, said, "Nothing, really. Thinking, I guess." He unlocked the door and Warrick climbed into the passenger seat.

"What about?" Nick shrugged.

After a long moment, he said, "Do you ever get the feeling that someone is reading you, judging you, and they aren't very impressed with what they see?"

Warrick thought for a moment. "I had a coach, in college. All he saw was where I came from, that's all he thought of me. He thought I was a no good delinquent, and he was always giving me crap about it," he said.

"What did he do?" Nick asked.

"He wouldn't let me play much, said I wasn't trying," Warrick said. "I wasn't doing that well, I guess. Something about what he said got to me."

"So what did you do?"

"I thought about why I was on the team. I knew I was good. I guess I just realized that what I thought mattered more than what he did," Warrick replied, looking over at him. "Why?"

"Just something I was thinking about." Nick turned the car on and pulled out of the space, then out of the CSI lot.

"Thought you said you wanted to go home and crash," Warrick said, grinning.

"Sleep feels much better on a full stomach," Nick said, turning into a diner.

Once inside, they found a table and ordered something to drink.

"So…since you brought me here against my will, without even asking me, does that mean you're buyin'?" Warrick asked, grinning.

"No way, bro. You're the one who asked if I wanted to get breakfast. I think that means you buy," Nick returned.

"But you turned me down…Pretty sure that means you're buyin', man."

"You didn't object to coming here…"

So they continued, bantering, until Nick forgot about his argument with Grissom, forgot that Warrick had gotten to be shift leader, forgot everything but how much fun it was to joke and laugh with his best friend.


End file.
